Hello once again ...
Some times I really don't even know why I bother to do anything right, every thing comes back to get revenge one way or another, as it is doing right now. I can't change the way people feel or the way people think, I can only wish. And that is what I have been doing, wishing, wishing for old feelings to come back, wishing for things to be the same as they were before.
But that's impossible.
The letters, are hidden, the emails are deleted, and the memories are fading.
I did something stupid not too long ago, some thing I used to do a while ago. And now I think I may be in trouble, hding from people, hidng from feelings. I'm really confused.
I only need one thing right now to make me better.
But that thing doesn't know.
And so I must be left alone in the darkness of my heart, slowing blocking out memories and feelings.
Of which will be finished soon.
No need to worry about me.
I'm on the right track, there's no use in holding onto some thing that isn't holding onto you.
"Promises are made to be broken"
I used to say that quite often, because of the number of promises I made, I thought that if I made it really seem like this, then I woudln't feel like such a bad person in the end. But no I realise that this is not true. Promises are promises and that is what they will always be, whether you break them or keep them, that is your choice, and your choice alone.
That is my choice.
I have one promise left in my life, that remains to be kept at the point being. It is being kept mutually. And knowing that gives me some kind of hope, since I do not any longer have my own.
I've lost my faith. | 